The end of a friendship

I woke up thinking about the friend I wrote about in this post--the friend whose faith attracted me. This is also the friendship I ruined first by being needy, then by being . . . extremely unkind and inappropriate to him. Now I wish we could go back to the beginning of our friendship, but it's too late. Time and actions can't be reversed, words can't be taken back. Some lessons are painful to learn.

I remember when he invited me to study the Bible with him . . . I said yes initially, but then I turned him down. I wanted to, but I was becoming too attached to him . . . I wish I had made different decisions.

I'm confused.

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About blogging . . . I'm not sure I'm going to continue this blog. I wanted to blog about my faith journey without getting personal, but that is almost impossible. OK, it is clearly impossible. And I go from wanting to hide the blog to wanting to share it. So it just sits here . . . open, but unread. What is the point? I don't know . . .

I just want God to hear me.